All the Single Ladies

A photo by Allef Vinicius.

As I sat on her floor she softly told me, “You should be happy to be single.” I was the opposite of happy; instead I was disappointed and frustrated. In wanting to explode with anger, I found myself utterly speechless. I yearned for her to say the words, “I don’t understand. I am sorry… that sucks!” Ironically, she told me the truth and I wasn’t keen on her advice.

Maybe, you can relate or understand?

The words of John 4:18 crisply outline that there is no room in love for fear. Miguel de Cervates declares, “Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water.” It is time to set the record straight and carve out the truth of how you are designed and created. Recently, I started reading Without Rival as the author, Lisa Bevere, powerfully speaks about embracing your identity and purpose in an age of confusion and comparison. Today, I felt her introduction was meant for you specifically, since she writes….

     Dearest One,

You are a daughter loved by a Father without rival, entrusted with a message and promise beyond compare, in a time without precedent. You have been chosen for this moment that is at once great and terrible. For this very reason, you must love fearlessly… believe outrageously… and hope without measure.


A Fellow Daughter

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t always loved fearlessly or believed outrageously or hoped without measure. In my nature, I am fairly optimistic but realistic. The reality is, I’ve allowed worldly standards to define my identity. What do I mean? For example, at 27 years of age I lack the wifey status or motherhood stamp of approval. Ironically, the truth is, I lack nothing. And I’ll go so far to acknowledge that this season is a gift, unwanted or less than desired at times, but a blessing to pursue passions like traveling around the world or completing my masters degree.

In James 1:3-4 it reminds me to consider it a gift, since “you know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” (MSG).

Over four years ago, my ex-fiancé broke off our wedding engagement. It devastated me and fear emerged, more like rushed and engulfed, to the surface. I questioned, “Would I ever love again?” As I wondered, “Would this define me?” At the time, I recall praying and pleading, “Oh Lord, bless him and change me.”

I profoundly changed and discovered that I am worthy. As I am worthy of God’s love, such deep and intimate affections, and I have had the courage to love fearlessly, believe outrageously and hope without measure. I wonder, “What have you discovered lately?” Perhaps this is the exact moment that you were created for (Esther 4:14) and allow truth to permeate your identity as a fully capable daughter of God.

I challenge you to go grab a coffee or tea with a friend and chat about the truth you need to believe. The “that sucks” comment only has a ten, maybe sixty second-satisfaction rate. Trust me! Sometimes the most profound moments are shared when receiving feedback, positive or negative, which can set the course of understanding your unique design and operate from a place of personal strength.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf highlights, “at times [you] may feel insignificant, invisible, alone or forgotten. But always remember… You matter to [God].”

Be blessed and know you’re not alone in this journey,


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